Roll Out The Barrel...

There was disappointment in Branscombe, Devon this week when only two contestants turned up for the 51st annual barrel rolling contest. Recent police attempts to cordon off the town are said to have caused the low turn-out. A spokesman has said that the 1st prize of 50 BMW motorcycles is likely to instead be donated to 'local good causes'.

On Second Thoughts....

It's no great secret to anyone who knows me, that in about three years or so I'm intending to head round the world to Melbourne to live, the home of my fiancée’s parents, and a fair number of our friends. From time to time though, I have to admit to having some concerns about such a move. Two occasions for concern have appeared in the news today.

Flagging Patriotism...
First is the report that organisers of Big Day Out, Australia's Sydney based but nationwide series of rock concerts, have urged those attending not to bring national flags along, on the grounds that it may incite racial tension. Quite rightly, many are up in arms at this attempt to prevent people demonstrating their allegiance to their home nation, by pandering to the growing number of whinging aussies who, sadly like some of our own whinging poms, think that respecting the wishes of every race or nation other than ones own is the only way to avoid conflict.
One keen advocate of the aussies right to wave their flag is Prime Minister John "Australia for USA Membership" Howard, as he should be. One has to laugh though, at his Bush-like ability to say the wrong thing, whilst doing the right thing. He is quoted as saying...

"The event organisers should not ram their peculiar political views down the throats of young Australians who are only interested in a good day out."

Does this mean, I wonder that he's changed his nation's draconian views on recreational drug use by 'young Australians who are only interested in a good day out'? Or is he still happy to allow his government to ram that particular peculiar political view down their throats?

One Step Closer to Australia USA...
One less trivial, and frankly more disturbing story also in the news today is that of Allen Jasson below...

From BBC News
Flight ban for anti-Bush T-shirt
A passenger barred from a Qantas airlines flight for wearing a T-shirt depicting US President George Bush as a terrorist has threatened legal action. Allen Jasson said he was sticking up for the principle of free speech by challenging the decision by the Australian flag carrier. Mr Jasson was stopped as he was about to board the flight from Melbourne to London last Friday. Qantas said the T-shirt had potential to offend other passengers. The T-shift features an image of President George W Bush, along with the slogan "World's Number One Terrorist".

Since when does the operator of an airline get to set itself up as defender of the public’s sensibilities? Where do we go from here? Perhaps the wearing of a pair of Union Jack shorts on the flight home from another pointless England cricket tour will be banned in case it offends one of the many nations we've upset over the years? Or that "I Love Australia" t-shirt you bought from the airport before heading home will be forcibly removed before you fly on the off chance that a delegation from an Aboriginal rights group might be on the same flight?

Airline travel is becoming more and more irritating of late, on the back of this insane fear of anyone with a long beard, a tan, and an unusual hat. Can anyone not see that some of these measures, introduced in the name of 'security' are sometimes not only ridiculous, but in instances like this, also bordering on the fascist?

What I've seen of Melbourne in the little time I've spent there, I've liked enough to be happy to call home with my fiancée at some point in the future, but I'm beginning to think it's going to seem a little more like moving to Alabama than Australia.

Big Brother Shite-Fest Shocker....

I'm in a difficult situation when it comes to the current fuss over Channel 4's shite-fest, Celebrity Big Brother.
It will come as no massive surprise to you, but I'm definitely of the mind that this sort of pointless tripe is yet another reason to get off one's arse and find a hobby rather than turn on the tv.

However, I have to of course bow to the fact that this latest excuse for un-important 'celebrities' to spread their mediocrity to a greater audience is very much in the news at the moment. This brings me to my dilemma, for I find myself wishing to comment on the programmes un-invited presence in my consciousness, (rather like an irritating zit, you know you ought not to pick at), even though I still refuse to watch the damn thing.

Therefore you will have to excuse me if I comment, without having had first hand experience of the alleged racism that I'm told is permeating the show currently.

We live in a country where racism is illegal. So correct me if I'm wrong, but if someone's broken the law, is there not justification for PC Do-gooder to go into this little nest of has-beens and question or possibly arrest someone? Or at the very least insist the accused/victims be removed immediately and questioned?

The alternative is that no illegality has occurred, and we are just witnessing some form of mass hysteria over the completely unimportant mockney ramblings of a fat girl from Essex with delusions of relevance, and the equally unimportant hurt feelings of a spoilt little rich girl from India too stupid to realise that she'd get more than just an increase in her fame levels amongst non-Asian audiences by being short-sighted enough to agree to come on this bloody show.

Twenty odd MPs have signed something or other, the Chancellor's visit to India is, in the words of the BBC 'overshadowed', half the nation is up in arms, and most of the nations press would not hold the front page for a royal death if it happened right now, just on the off chance that Miss Piggy or the Bollywood Bore might have another little tiff.

Wankers.

Slow News Day.....

From the BBC
Misbah Mother Drops Custody Claim

The mother of schoolgirl Misbah Rana has dropped her claim for custody of her daughter, the Supreme Court in Pakistan has heard.
The 12-year-old, also known as Molly Campbell, left Scotland without her mother's consent last August to be with her father, Sajad Rana.
Misbah's mother, Louise Campbell, had interim custody of her daughter.
The court in Islamabad had been expected to make a ruling on whether Misbah should return to the UK.

Can you believe I switched on BBC News 24 this morning to find this piece of un-interesting, completely insignificant information was the 'NEWS' that filled fully the first ten minutes of the BBC news broadcast?

With all the conflict, suffering and problems that goes on in the world today, and every day, that was the best the world's premiere news service could come up with. If it carries on like this I'll be forced to tune in to CNN, where 'World News' traditionally means anything to do with the USA.

Need A Little More Time?

I'd never have put myself down as a true lover of sleep. Some people have a real love affair going on with their bed, they just can't get enough zzzz's in their life. For them, paradise is all about long lie-ins, fluffy duvets and pillows.
Whilst I can appreciate the recovery benefits, sleep was always just a way to waste a third of your life in my book. One of the big fringe benefits of becoming a recreational drug user when I first signed up for the 'class A team', was the fact that I could fit in lots more stuff in all that wasted time when most of the world is sleeping.
Party all night, dance all night, read, watch tv, study, work or play, it's all extra time you get to fill with life's distractions and diversions. Ok, nature never entirely lets you get something for nothing, you do need to put in a few more hours on your back monday to friday if you party the whole weekend away. But in true Brit style, if you do it right, you can easily 'nick a bit'.

Going entirely without sleep just one night a week, could give you almost a whole extra day of life a month, or a massive two years and four months if you spread it over a whole lifetime of around 70 years! Just think what you could do with all that time.

Me? I like to make use of my extra time awake by sitting and writing stuff like this at 2am.

Well I never said you had to use the time wisely.

Death By Stupidity....

It's heartbreaking to see the beautiful face of five year old Ellie Lawrenson on the news at the moment. The poor innocent victim, not of a dangerous animal, but of a group of idiotic adults who did not have enough common sense to know that a pit bull should not be anywhere near a tiny defenceless human being.

There's no real point to thinking of punishing those supposedly 'responsible', though frankly responsibility is the last thing any of them has demonstrated. Ellies uncle will be tormented by this for life, as will her parents. On an individual level, that's almost certainly punishment enough.

Perhaps authorities should declare that from this point forward, a similar occurrence will lead to a mandatory jail term for the dog owners, and any adult allowing such a dog to be in the same house as a child. Though I doubt it would deter the morons who think there is any reason on earth to have such dangerous animals as pets. Only the death of a child close to them might do that.

There used to be an old saying, "You need a license to own a dog, but they let any bloody idiot have children".

Rest in peace little Ellie.

Here We Go Again....

Rarely can I remember having entered into a fresh new year with such high spirits. Now whether this is caused by residual traces of the New Years Eve party stimulations, or a genuine reflection of my state of mind, only time will tell, but on the first 'proper' day of 2007, (the 1st never counts, if you didn't sleep the night before, it still officially counts as being the NYE party of course) I feel pretty good.

As you'd expect from me, sharing my thoughts with you has been somewhat lacking over the last few weeks. It's not that I had nothing to say, but with the party season in full flight, I had plenty of opportunity to fall back on my original audience of friends and unfortunate bystanders, who fell victim to my rants and general oratorical fatuity (finally got round to using that one). So you out there in the wide world had to do without me for a while. I'm sure you survived ok.

So in the spirit of randomness, here are a few points that are bouncing around my mind as the new year begins.

Being in love is still far and away the best thing in the world. If you are, cherish it with every breath in your body, if you are not, you will know when you are by the way every other thing becomes insignificant in loves presence.

You get to chose your own friends. If you look around and find you are unhappy with them, it's your own fault. Either be prepared to deal with it, or move on. Some will prove to be worth every bit of effort, some will not, but you must decide which is which for yourself. Don't assume that every relationship will work, or continue to muddle through blindly when they do not. Sometimes you do have to let go.

Never underestimate the power of family relationships to still hurt, long after you thought you'd 'dealt' with them. Realising how much you still love your mum and dad, even if you'd convinced yourself that you'd never get along, is a shockingly powerful thing. Don't leave it too long to figure that out.

Mince pies are still one of the best things about Christmas. Religious nonsense is still the worst.

Watch "An Inconvenient Truth". If you don't come away from it with a desire to change things around you, take a long look at yourself. You are part of the problem.

I don't care if CSI is overly glamourised nonsense, it's great tv, but I wish they'd stop buggering about with torches in dark rooms and turn the bloody lights on!

House parties are still a far better option than clubbing on New Years Eve.

Life is still good.