Phrase Of The Day...

"Oratorical Fatuity",
excellent phrase, from 'Paris In The 20th Century' by Jules Verne, not sure if he should get the credit or the translator should though....

Another One For The List....

Today I'd like to welcome (yet) another group of people into my ever growing club for human beings that need, for all our sakes, to be removed from the planet.

I've just spent some time queing at the airport, seeing off my lovely other half, and, surprise, surprise, we had to spend some time snaking back and forth through those webbing barriers to make our way to far too few open check in desks. Now you may have figured out that I'm not what you'd call a patient person, so it will come as no surprise that I was getting a little grumpy. However, I soon realised that the target of my anger was ill-considered. I'd taken it upon myself to assume this was typical disregard for their customers by yet another faceless corperation, but I was wrong. I realised that what causes these delays and seemlessly endless lines, is in fact the dumb customers.

In the space of ten or fifteen minutes, I lost count of the number of fuckwits who wasted precious time with one of the clerks, either trying to convince the poor member of staff that the lorry sized item in front of them could not possibly weigh as much as those scales were saying, or, (and this was the really annoying bit) trying to shove a 'carry-on' bag the size of a small African country into the little metal 'size-guide' that sits alongside the check in desk.

Have these people never been on a fucking plane before?? You spend the entire journey sitting in one bloody seat! What the hell could you possibly want to take with you that is so damn big? Because if you do manage to just about squeeze that piece of luggage into the little frame, you are then going to piss everybody off again, when you try to force it into the tiny little overhead locker on the plane, blocking the aisle for another ten minutes into the bargain.

If you can't get your entire personal needs for a few short hours sitting in one seat, into a very small bag, you have failed basic human survival lesson 1, and should not set foot outside your house, let alone endangering the lives of others by being in a public place.

I would like a new rule please. Anyone who's carry-on bag does not fit into the metal frame, has the offending bag placed into a bin and burned in front of the whole queue. No payback, no compensation, just a valuable lesson learned for next time they fly.

A Subject Close To My Heart...

Starbucks, the coffee beans and the copyright row that cost Ethiopia £47m

Ashley Seager

Thursday October 26, 2006 The Guardian

Starbucks, the giant US coffee chain, has used its muscle to block an attempt by Ethiopia's farmers to copyright their most famous coffee bean types, denying them potential earnings of up to £47m a year, said Oxfam.The development agency said the Ethiopian government last year filed copyright applications to trademark its most famous coffee names - Sidamo, Harar and Yirgacheffe. Securing the rights to these names would enable the impoverished African country to control their use in the market and allow farmers to receive a greater share of the retail price.

The move would have increased its annual export earnings from coffee by 25%.But Oxfam said Starbucks, which enjoyed a 22% rise in annual global turnover to £7.8bn in the year to October, has acted to block Ethiopia's application to the US patent and trademark office. The USPTO has denied Ethiopia's applications for Sidamo and Harar, creating serious obstacles for its project.

Oxfam had a one-year cooperation agreement in 2004 with Starbucks which saw both provide support to coffee farmers in Ethiopia as part of wider attempts to reduce poverty in the country. But Oxfam now feels that the Seattle-based company's attitude is questionable. Phil Bloomer, Oxfam's policy director, said: "Starbucks has made some progress towards helping poor farmers in recent years, but their behaviour on this occasion is a huge backwards step, and raises serious questions about the depth of their commitment to the welfare of their suppliers. By acting responsibly, they could set an example for others by supporting Ethiopia's plan to help the 15 million struggling Ethiopian farmers who depend on coffee for their survival."

Fitsum Hailu, of the Ethiopian embassy in the US, added: "Struggling Ethiopian farmers should be able to realise a greater portion of the value our coffee commands on the international market. This project is innovative- and a unique opportunity for our farmers to be empowered in the arena of international trade."

Starbucks, whose annual turnover is equivalent to about three quarters of Ethiopia's entire gross domestic product, said in a statement it had never "filed an opposition to the Ethiopian government's trademark application". However, Ron Layton, head of Light Years IP, a Washington-based intellectual property rights organisation that is advising the Ethiopian government, said that in 2004 Starbucks had filed a trademark application with the word "Sidamo" to the USPTO. The USPTO then judged that Ethiopia's application a year later had to be rejected because the word was already the subject of Starbucks' application. When Starbucks' application lapsed this June, the US National Coffee Association, of which Starbucks is a leading member, objected to the Ethiopian application. NCA representatives admitted to the Ethiopians and Mr Layton that Starbucks had prompted their opposition.

"Intellectual property ownership now makes up a huge proportion of the total value of world trade but rich countries and businesses capture most of this. Ethiopia, the birthplace of coffee, and one of the poorest countries in the world, is trying to assert its rights and capture more value from its product. It should be helped, not hindered," said Mr Layton. Starbucks insisted, however, that it was committed to paying premium prices to producers in more than 27 countries and its purchases of Ethiopian coffee had grown by more than 400% in the past four years. It said it paid an average of $1.23 (65p) per pound last year, 23% above average market prices. Tadesse Meskela, head of the Oromia coffee farmers cooperative union in Ethiopia, was unimpressed, however. "Coffee shops can sell Sidamo and Harar coffees for up to £14 a pound because of the beans' specialty status. But Ethiopian coffee farmers only earn between 30p and 59p for their crop, barely enough to cover the cost of production.

"We sell organic coffee for less than £1 a pound but that pound can make 52 specials in coffee shops selling for £2 each, meaning the retailer is selling it for £104. The people who are producing this in Ethiopia don't have enough food, clean water or health centres. "Farmers are losing out while others in the chain are making huge amounts of money. That is hugely unfair." Ethiopia is continuing to pursue its trademark applications in the US. It is also asking Starbucks and other companies to sign voluntary licensing agreements that immediately acknowledge the country's ownership of the coffee names, regardless of whether they have been issued with a trademark.

I'm Royal Too....

Also From The Daily Mail (Got to stop reading that rubbish!)

An accountant from Jersey who believes he is the secret son of Princess Margaret has launched a High Court bid to prove his outlandish claim to Royal blood.
Robert Brown is convinced the Queen's younger sister managed to conceal a pregnancy from public eye six years before the birth of her legitimate son.
The 51-year-old believes his birth in Nairobi, Kenya in 1955 may have been the result of on an affair between the late Princess and her former beau Group Captain Peter Townsend.
He says his father may also have been Robin Douglas-Home, with whom the Princess had a well publicised affair in the 1960s.

Utter tosh! Princess Margaret was in fact my mummy actually! I am the result of a little known affair between HRH and Pete Townsend of Rock legends The Who, the pair had a little fling while Pete was working in London re-mastering the My Generation album back in 66. They split after Pete was no longer able to deal with mummy's heavy drink and drug habits. This makes me not only 12th in line to the throne, but entitles me to as many free visits to Roger Daltry's Sussex trout farms as I like, and makes me rather good at swinging guitars around my head. Actually.

BA Employs Loony By Mistake...

From The Daily Mail
BA refuses to back down in case of cross wearing Christian

British Airways refused to back down last night over its ban on check-in worker Nadia Eweida wearing a cross around her neck. The airline has refused to clear the committed Christian for breaking BA's strict dress code and are expected to take further disciplinary action against her.

Good oh, another little nibble away at the loonies! Keep the bans coming people, lets make it clear that if you persist in believing fairy stories into adulthood, you are not fit to do grown up jobs.

Although there is something to be said for loonies identifying themselves for the rest of us....

Punishment Fit For The Crime....

From BBC News
Lady McCartney to sue newspapers
Heather Mills McCartney is to sue two newspapers over "false, damaging and immensely upsetting" claims surrounding her divorce from Sir Paul McCartney.
Legal proceedings will be taken against the London Evening Standard and Daily Mail, lawyers for the 38-year-old said.
Solicitors Mishcon de Reya added that legal action will also be taken against The Sun.

Well I for one hope she wins, though I'd get more pleasure from it if the vermin who pursue people this way were themselves actually punished as a result, rather than it ending up with some faceless corporation having to pay a big cash settlement.

The validity of these type of cases would be better accepted all round if those responsible for the 'upsetting' words were in some way publicly pilloried rather than the supposed victim getting big wedges of cash.

In fact, I think actually throwing the offender in a set of stocks outside their victims front gate for a week, would be a most excellent punishment for any scuzzy little worm who's stock in trade is the ins & outs of another human beings personal relationships, though obviously by that criteria, we'd have to make room alongside them for divorce lawyers as well.

Active Atheism...

Isn't it time YOU came out of the closet?
I know you are out there.

There are millions of you in this country, just like me, who flinch every time a politician refers to 'God', or a survivor of some incident blindly thanks 'the Lord' for saving them, (rather than the dozens of firefighters, nurses and support workers still usually cleaning up in the background).

You are the same people who feel the anger rise when an Islamic fundamentalist takes yet another life in the misguided hope that a room full of virgins await him in heaven, or when a right-wing Christian fundamentalist declares once again the evils of the homosexuals and the AIDS curse they have brought upon us?

We live in an age when we can no longer sit back and say 'Let them have their harmless beliefs, lets tolerate each other's faiths.' Because those beliefs are no longer harmless.

Within the bosom of the 'moderates' of all faiths, festers the evil that is fundamentalism.
All the while 'moderates' exist, and pass on their false dogmas to the young, there will be those among them that will use those dogmas to their own ends.
Moderates are in many ways the greatest threat, for they neither fully follow the path of reasoned thought, or wholly devote themselves to a religion, simply 'cherry-picking' the bits that fit in with their modern world existance, whilst ignoring the sections they find uncomfortable to deal with.
How arrogant of these people to on the one hand, declare the Bible, or Koran to be the written word of an all-powerful being, then proceed to second guess this God with their own interpretations of his words?

So, to Active Atheism.
If you do not accept that it is just and fair to have YOUR lives directed or influenced by ill-considered belief or blind faith, stop it from happening. Ask your prospective candidates for elections if they have religious beliefs, and explain to them that your non-belief is as important to you.
Ensure that the schools to which you send your children do not continue to indoctrinate them with falsehoods alongside the facts that they learn about the world around them.
Stop going to church if you do not believe, just for the sake of not offending those around you. You may be suprised to find many of them also have no faith, just a desire to not 'rock the boat'.

It is time to be heard. It is time say goodbye to imaginary friends. It is time to raise the human race above the worship of myths and false Gods. It is our time.

ntl: Tossers Once Again Shocker...

I'd just like to take the opportunity to advise anyone out there lucky enough to not be using the services of ntl: to not ever do so on pain of death. I'd once more also like to wish pain, death and immense suffering upon all directors of ntl: and their entire families, for eternity.

I won't bother boring you with the details again, they are tossers.

The Cost Of Living...

From BBC News
Watchdog 'to reject cancer drug'

Bone cancer patients in England are expected to be denied a life-extending drug, which is available in Scotland.
Patients and health charities have condemned the proposals by the National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence.
Velcade slows the advance of myeloma - cancer of bone marrow plasma cells.
Around 4,000 people are diagnosed with myeloma in the UK each year.
A trial last year showed Velcade could extend the life expectancy of a patient by an average of six months more than standard treatment. Treatment costs about £18,000 per patient.
The drug was approved for use in Scotland in 1994, where it is thought to be used as a last resort.
The Daily Mail says it has seen a leaked ruling, which says the drug is more clinically effective than chemotherapy but is not regarded as "cost effective".

My first instinct is, that if I had the chance of dying from bone cancer today, or spending another six months on this earth with the people I love, I would certainly consider it to be 'cost effective'.

The usual argument rolled out in these type of cases is the old chestnut of 'other treatments/patients suffering' if funds are spent on the expensive drug in question. This is a completely spurious argument. The bottom line is, this is all about the bottom line.
Actual production costs of pretty much any drug, (once it's been researched which is an expensive process) are very low. These high costs that get quoted are about drugs companies, some of the richest organisations on the planet, milking all the cash they can back on a newly discovered product, as close to the point of discovery as possible. They invariably make a profit in the long term.
If they spent more time thinking of the long game, instead of wanting to grab cash back as soon as possible, perhaps someone might get to spend a little longer with their child, or a few precious moments more with the one they love.

And you can't put a price on that.

Things That Just Dont Work No 161...

Trying to move things a specific distance with any body part other than your hand because you're too bloody lazy to get up/bend over as required.

Say Yes To Intolerance...

The British press can't stop going on about veils at the moment. Lot's of missed opportunities for some lovely pun headlines in my opinion, "Masking The Truth" "To No a-Veil" etc etc, come on tabloids, you're slipping.

As I've already had my dig at Christianity this weekend, in the name of equality, I thought I'd take the time to slip in a little go at Islam. (Before Hindus, Jews, Satanists and Manchester United fans start complaining, there's plenty wrong with you lot too, just give me time...)

We can dress up debates about the wearing of a veil as an issue about communication, good manners, or a politicians attempt to stir discussion, but what this really comes down to is discrimination. Any religion that treats women the way Islam does can have no place in modern society.
(But then, frankly, I'm yet to find a religion that does deserve a place in modern society).

For those Muslim Radicals out there (the 'angry young men' who chose Islam, where some angry young men choose football hooliganism or gangs), who want to see Islamic law in the UK, it will never happen guys. We're still trying to get one lot of God-Botherers out of the political system, we're certainly not about to let another lot take over when we finally do.

Isn't it time we stopped talking about Tolerance of Religion, and stopped tolerating any of them? Because they are ALL intolerant!
It infringes on my civil liberties to have people who still talk to 'imaginary friends' running the country I live in. My taxes go towards funding schools that perpetuate these myths, teaching children the fantasy of God or Allah or Jehovah alongside the facts of mathematics and science.

We've tolerated religion being used to abuse the Human race for long enough.

The Church of England, The New Tories...

From The Daily Telegraph Wednesday 11th October
Church backs legal rights for parents who live in sin
By Jonathan Petre Religion Correspondent
THE Church of England yesterday backed proposals to give millions of unmarried couples who are "living in sin" similar legal rights to their married counterparts.
Risking accusations that it was undermining marriage, the Church said that cohabiting couples with children should be granted significant legal protection if they split up.
It also argued that those rights should be extended to unmarried couples without children if one of the ex-partners was at risk of suffering a substantial injustice when they separated.
Responding to recommendations from the Law Commission, the Church said it wanted to uphold the ideal of marriage but that there was a strong biblical precedent for protecting the vulnerable.

In time honoured fashion, the Church of England falls over itself again as it tries to desperately reduce those dwindling numbers. Yet another of it's little rules falls by the wayside, as it desperately tries to be all things to all men, women and anyone else who'll join up.

Of course some will say this is simply a case of the church moving with the times, it's a touchy-feely exercise in protecting the less fortunate, which of course in essence it is.
Nonetheless, it's also another good old fashioned turnaround on another of those 'rules for life' that the church have decided doesn't fit with life in the 21st century. Opinions on homosexuality and pre-marital sex may be the big ones, but Christianity of all flavours has a long history of chipping away at the rules it once wrote in stone for it's followers.

This gradual erosion was always one of the fundamental elements that contributed in my childhood to realising what a load of old tosh the whole 'God' thing was. When you first get introduced to it, it's like this great big club, in which the rules and beliefs of the members seem fairly clear.
But you very quickly realise that it's the local branch managers making the rules, and changing them to suit the little world they inhabit at any given moment. So it soon became clear no-one really believed all this rubbish, everybody just took on board what they thought was relevant to them, and paid lip service to the rest.
Because if the really had total faith, and truly believed, then they wouldn't dare have the audacity to re-interpret the rules would they?
So you end up with not a 'belief' system, but an organisation prepared to say whatever people want to hear in an effort to win back support.

Which brings us to the Tory party.....

Mickey Mouse Is A Bastard....

Just in case you we're unaware, the Disney company is still involved in child labour, so next time you see those cute little kids in a Disney shop, having lots of fun, remember the goods are often produced by kids somewhere who will have no childhood.

Here's a link for a little more info, but you've got the internet, get out there, surf, and find out more. This sort of shit is everywhere, but you can make a difference.....go on, do a google search, look some stuff up, you're not doing anything more important right now....
http://www.anomalies-unlimited.com/Disney/Labor.html

The Official Line......

From BBC News
Crystal meth may be reclassified

Methamphetamine is also known as crystal methCrystal Methamphetamine may be reclassified as a Class A drug under new rulings expected to be announced.
It comes as the latest drug survey figures - which show an increased use of certain substances but overall drug abuse falling - are published.
Crystal Methamphetamine is a highly addictive drug which can lead its users into a destructive lifestyle. Reclassification from Class B could lead to an unlimited fine or up to seven years in jail for users.

The survey, he said, is expected to show a drop in the number of people using cannabis.
The government is also expected to say it plans to stick to the classification of drugs into A, B and C classes in response to a parliamentary committee report saying the system was not fit for purpose
In July, a committee of MPs said the designation of drugs in classes A, B and C should be replaced with one more closely reflecting the harm they cause.
The Science Select Committee said the present system was based on historical assumptions, not scientific assessment. Some of the drugs could be rated less harmful than tobacco or alcohol.
The chief executive of the charity Drugscope, Martin Barnes, said there were problems with the classification system and called for debate on the issue.

As usual our glorious leaders will of course take little notice of any recommendations, reports or even their own personal knowledge when it comes to the drugs issue.

The only thing that ever motivates most politicians on this issue, is their own desperation to avoid being branded as 'soft' on drug issues, and their over-powering need to be seen to agree with the vocal anti-drugs brigade. Of course most of the anti-drugs lobby consists predominantly of people who have never had any exposure to illegal drugs whatever, so know absolutely fuck-all about them!

I'd love to know how many thousands of lines of charlie have been racked up in the Houses of Parliament toilets over the years. Or how many of those late night sessions were amphetamine fuelled. How many of our glorious leaders like to unwind with a fat spliff at the end of a hard days debating?

This whole issue is wrapped up in huge blankets of hypocrisy, accompanied by the usual unhealthy dose of nanny-state attitudes this country loves. While millions slowly kill themselves and others every day due to alcohol abuse, simply using coke, weed, speed, and many others could land you in jail, (you know, those places that are so over-crowded they're having to start using police cells to supplement them again this week).

Latest wisdom dictates that to polish one's 'public' image as a politician these days, it's the fashion to feel sorry for the poor user, individuals trapped in an evil cycle of abuse and desolation who steal from their own mothers for their habit. This allows one to demonise the evil 'dealer' for spreading his cruel and vicious poison across our fine otherwise clean nation.

What utter bollocks. Most 'dealers' are good mates of their 'clients' who've simply been the one in the social circle who's been most convenient to sort out that weekends substances. But they are the new target of politicians these days, the purveyors of misery, who supposedly hang about outside school gates drawing five year olds into crack dens with the promise of pyscedelic adventures. (I'm surprised there's room on the pavement outside the school actually, what with the thousands of peadophiles congregating there, piled on top of 4x4 drivers of course).

Here is the news: Drugs are not "BAD" , they are just drugs. People do them because they like them. Yes, some people go too far, lose control, generally fuck up. People do that perfectly well sometimes without drugs, and always have.

How about we suspend all penalties for drug use & supply, until the houses of parliament undergoes an across the board series of drug tests, with no advanced warning. Once we have the results, if a substantial number of our 'betters' test positive, perhaps they'll drop all this bullshit once and for all and get back to spending our money on something worthwhile.

Bloggers Block...

I've been pulling my hair out trying to think of something to write.

I know I don't have to write anything. But I feel I should.

I've had a busy week. In less than 24 hours, I'll be up to my ears in clubbers, loud Trance tunes, dodgy shirts, smiley happy people, and the usual problems and pleasures that go along with running a club night in London.
Right after that, no matter how the party goes, there will be about two days of 'crack-on' where a core group of us, promoters, helpers, DJs, mates, the odd 'random' newbie, will party on through the weekend. Our numbers will gradually deplete as the weekend progresses, 'light-weights' will drop out, people with 'proper' jobs to go to on monday will go home, those with commitments in life other than the pursuit of pleasure will drift away steadily.
By around sunday night, just a handful will be left, and another great clubbing weekend will be consigned to our fragile, soon to be confused memories.

All this means that it's unlikely I'll be writing much over the next few days, and explains why I've had little time to write much this week. I've been somewhat distracted.

But in this lull,
DUCK! INCOMING CLICHE..
In this calm before the storm, for some reason, I feel I ought to be making up for my lack of blogging this week, and the coming absence over the next few days.

Of course, like having a pee before going on a long car journey, the fact that you know you won't be able to do it for ages, in no way helps you to do it now. In a way, it actually seems to make it more difficult.

There are lots of issues in the world today upon which I currently have opinions, at varying levels of wisdom, ranging from 'reasonably informed' to 'complete ignorance' but after three false starts, I've decided not to subject you to them. At least not for the moment.

Consequently, this leaves you, the poor reader, to fulfill a role similar to a guy in a club who's found himself sitting next to a cyberkid pilled off of his nut, who rambles on with the direction and focus of a five year old with an attention disorder.

So if you've dropped in today, hoping to gain a startling insight into world issues of any kind, you're out of luck.

If however, you've dropped in because you simply enjoy reading me ramble on in no particular direction, then you've not been disappointed.

Thank You Boris....

From BBC News

Boris Johnson has taken a swipe at Jamie Oliver's school dinners campaign saying the pressure on children to eat healthy food is "too much".
Tory leader David Cameron this week heaped praise on Mr Oliver's crusade to make school dinners more nutritious.
But Mr Johnson criticised the campaign and stood up for mothers who helped their children avoid healthier options.
"I say let people eat what they like. Why shouldn't they push pies through the railings?," said Mr Johnson.
The father-of-four, who is an official Conservative spokesman on education, added: "I would ban sweets from school - but this pressure to bring in healthy food is too much."

I'd like to thank Boris for his support of pikeys who want to feed their fat little butterball kids whatever they like, thus continuing the existence of a breed of lesser human beings, with little ability to move, even less ability to think and more later life health problems than the NHS could possibly ever cope with.
Without his ridiculous statements of support for these pie pushing sub-humans, we might actually start to believe that the Tory party represents a genuine potential opposition stand-point, rather than the "we'll say anything to get into power" manifesto that they truly have.

Tony and his chums may have been treading on themselves to drag the country away from the political left over the last few years, but lets not forget what an un-caring bunch of bastards were running this country before them.

Equal Rights.....For Some.....

So, on the 1st of October, the UK government brought in new legislation to make discrimination by employers on the basis of age illegal. This was done to combat the fact that the population is getting older, and people simply want to work longer, rather than be forced to retire at 65 and live out a very long retirement with little cash and only boredom on the menu.

The problem is, government legislation on minimum wages still discriminates on the basis of age. If you're under eighteen, it's perfectly legal apparently to still pay you less than if you were over eighteen, regardless of your ability to do the job. The same is true at the age of twenty one.

There is talk that the new legislation may lead to challenges to the legality of the minimum wage rules. I hope so, because frankly, crowing about your wonderful new moves to make everyone even more equal is somewhat hollow when there is still legislation on the books that encourages employers to penalize people based on when they were born.