Eloi Alert...

Until about an hour ago I didn't have a clue how Pasta was made. For all I knew, it could have grown on trees, been some sort of Italian root vegetable, or been been carved from the rump of some mystical beast. I've just been educated otherwise. Fascinating. Eggs & Flour eh? Who'dve though it....... I'm such an Eloi.

Thought Crime....

Taken From...
/news.bbc.co.uk/

A mother whose daughter died at the hands of a man obsessed with violent internet porn has won her fight for a ban on possessing such images.
The government has announced plans to make the possession of violent porn punishable by three years in jail.
It follows a campaign by Berkshire woman Liz Longhurst whose daughter Jane, a Brighton schoolteacher, was allegedly strangled by Graham Coutts.
Mrs Longhurst's campaign was backed by MPs and a 50,000-signature petition.

So, once again 'thought crime' has reared it's head in our society.
Simply looking at something that others find distasteful is punishable by imprisonment. Again.

Should anyone possessing pictures of the holocaust be tried for war crimes?

Should movie actors be imprisoned for inciting violence by performing fake murders on screen?

The murderer of Jane Longhurst was a lunatic who deserves no pity and frankly, less mercy. But to assume that watching violent pornography was the cause of his lunacy is to assume that anyone who watches 'Schindlers list' is likely to become a Nazi, watchers of 'The Godfather' will become gangsters, or watchers of 'Eastenders' will become barrow-boys.

Most people who view any kind of images or media for their own entertainment, do not then go on to commit crimes based upon it.

Before the advent of tv, the internet, movies, magazines, even books, some people chose to kill, maim, rape, murder,abuse and harm other human beings. Some people always will.

As a knee-jerk reaction, our ever-so clever law-makers have made it a criminal offence to look at images which were in all likelyhood posed by people who chose to do so, were paid to do so, or even possibly enjoyed doing so!
So you can beat the shit out of each other in the privacy of your bedroom, you can even be paid for doing it, but if someone looks at the pictures, they are a criminal.

Welcome to the asylum.

Delivering A Service...

Below is an extract from news.bbc.co.uk



A postman who advised people how to stop junk mail being delivered to their home could lose his job after bosses suspended him for misconduct.
Roger Annies composed and circulated a leaflet about the Royal Mail's opt-out clause for unsolicited mail during his rounds in Barry, south Wales.
Residents are said to be annoyed at their postman's suspension.
A Royal Mail spokeswoman confirmed that a postman employed in Barry was being investigated for "alleged misconduct".

I’d like to take the opportunity to thank Mr Annies, and wish him well over the next few weeks.

Royal Mail is frankly a monkey outfit. Many years of being a profitless ‘jobs for life’ nationalised pig at the taxpayers trough have proven to have taken it’s toll as it tries to drag itself kicking and screaming into the 21st century.

My local post office, (presumably some sort of franchise set-up) has one member of staff out of four that is friendly, and I reckon that’s because I’ve known her for many years prior to her employment there. The rest range from corpse-like indifference to down-right pig ignorance. Customer service is non-existent. They still actually have the lowest staff level during the standard lunch break slot, the time when the majority of their customers want to use the service. Whilst the current delivery man I have is a friendly enough chap, there have been a number of occasions over the last few years when a ‘sorry you weren’t in’ card was quietly slipped through the door as I sat four feet from it, simply because it would save the lazy sod on the other side of the door the trouble of waiting for me to sign if he bothered to knock.

So Roger Annies, well done. A rare individual in a service industry that wants to provide a service. Royal Mail should make him the next MD, they might become a little more popular.

Oops....

Funny how I always seem to be starting blogs with an apology for not having done any blogging for a while!
It must be this hectic fast paced life on the edge that I lead.
Yes it's always all go at 'Stevie Towers', always some sort of deal going down, some sort of project being put together. Why, only yesterday I managed to get some shopping in at the spar, and negotiate myself a tidy little discount by not having the right change on me, and I've recently involved myself into a on-going washing up project on weekdays.

But amidst all this hustle and bustle I still like to set aside time to enjoy myself in life, time to stop and sniff the metaphorical roses as it were. So with this in mind, I took full advantage of the bank holiday weekend just passed, and immersed myself in three days of celebratory shenanigans. It was bloody excellent. I'd like to thank the South African team for the use of their premises, welcome our new Greek branch on to the team and offer thanks to the Swiss office for taking time out from the Insurance and Defence industry to attend a last minute meeting. If all goes according to plan the move out of the tobacco market should turn out to be very lucrative.

Oh well back to the weekday grind.

The Great Thing About Blogging Pt II......

And of course, today, my old favourites when it comes to "corporate toss-pots who couldn't give a monkeys about their customers", stories, NTL, rears it's ever-so ugly head.

I've just had three attempts, three lots of going on hold and two "we're sorry that our lines are busy right now, please call another time" messages., before finally speaking to someone who sorted a very simple problem.

In the spirit of getting someone to take responsibility for the actions of these souless wankers, I'd like to put forward today:

Ms Vanessa Thomas, Head Of Credit Control. NTL Group

Now I never got to speak to Vanessa, if indeed she even exists, but it's your name on the bottom of the letter I was trying to sort out love, so you can take the flak via this lovely public medium. If you don't like that, then move jobs, and don't put your name on the bloody letters.

Sort your telephone systems out you silly cow, how the fuck are we supposed to get through with your ridiculous system?? Get some staff who know what they are talking about, and stop sending incorrect snotty letters to the people who pay for your 4x4 and mortgage while you sit on your fat arse in a plush office. Then, and only then, you might just be working for a company that deserves some respect, and might yourself be worth more than fuck all, which is your current contribution to the human race!

Ahhh. That's Better.

The Great thing About Blogging....

Is the opportunity it affords to vent one's spleen fully and publicly about things that really piss one off.
So it will come as no surprise that that fine old institution that's been the target of mankind's displeasure since they were first invented was going to make an appearance here sooner or later.
Banks.

Or, in this case, more specifically NatWest Bank.
The organizations themselves really are souless un-caring money making machines. Anyone with half a brain is aware of that. It's been a while since any sane human being really thought that any attempt at 'customer service' from these businesses was anything more than window dressing, but that said, they really are useless shits as well.

As well as failing to pay part of our rent on a number of occasions in the last few months, the retards at NatWest this month have just cut my other half's credit limit on her NatWest Credit Card, because they say she's not been paying it regularly enough. This may be due to the fact that the NatWest Direct Debit, from her NatWest Current Account, set up in June to pay her NatWest Credit Card, has still not been set up by the fuckwits at....yes, you guessed it, NatWest.

Now, there is a school of thought that says you can't be rude to those poor unfortunates on the phone employed to deal with these sort of problems, it's not their fault is it? They're only doing a job right? We just don't understand the stress these poor people have to deal with every day do we?

Bollocks.
Because if there's one thing that banks have become really good at in the last few years, it's employing people to bloody stupid to do the job on purpose, thus saving themselves a fortune in actually delivering any customer service as thousands of people hang up the phone, too frustrated to listen to another minute of looped music.

Now this may be good for reducing the unemployment figures amongst the stupid, but it does nothing for the stress levels of those of us frustrated by the ineptitude of their employers.

So, fully aware as I am that this will in no way change the attitude of NatWest or any other banking organization, I'd like to take this opportunity to say, on behalf of all those wronged by you,

NatWest, you truly are a bunch of Wankers.

"It ain't my fault guv..."

We are virtually being crushed in the stampede of individuals and companies trying to avoid any responsibility for anything in the last couple of days, following the messy state of our airports yesterday and today.

Whilst of course it's not possible to hold airline companies, security staff, insurance companies or anyone other than the perpetrators responsible for the general chaos that reigns, they sure are desperate to tell the good old British public to just bend over and take it again it seems.

For example, it is thought that in more than half of cases, your travel insurance that the nice salesman convinced you was essential in these turbulent times, will be of absolutely bugger all use to you. Many constitute "acts of terrorism" as exemptions to payouts, and those that do may argue that as no terrorism actually took place (only the aftermath of chaos left by successfully detecting terrorists), then you are again not entitled to compensation.

So here you are, sat with your rotten teeth (your toothpaste is now contraband), smelly (sorry no deodorant), bored (no books), kids screaming (no toys), soon to be skint (you can still of course buy all these things at vastly inflated prices once on the plane), your holiday screwed as you sit in an airport terminal for hours, still unsure if you're actually going to go anywhere or not, and you can't even look forward to the insurance covering it.

I'm beginning to think this whole thing is a massive conspiracy between the government and English Heritage. Just you watch as the droves of people decide to avoid the perils of foreign holidays altogether from now on, and go and visit that nice stately home in Oxfordshire or Devon instead.
Imagine that, a holiday where you can carry your water with you, no need for a passport or the fat jobsworth behind the counter who decides you look 'suspicious' and keeps you going through your baggage for three hours. The weather's not too bad either.

And best of all, the road signs are in English.

Frenchman and Twin Towers shocker...

On This Day In History...

Frenchman Phillipe Petit took an illegal stroll between the Twin Towers on a tightrope on this day in 1974. "Little Phil" as the boys in the pub used to call him, prepared for six years for the stunt, and was arrested on his return to terra firma.

A spokesman for the US government upon hearing this news today released the following statement: "Well that explains why they fell down so fucking easy, the bloody frenchie must have weakened their infrastructure considerably. We will now be closing the enquiry."

A spokesman for Little Phil denied reports that a follow up stunt involving a wing walk on a jumbo jet in 2001 was anything to do with him.

And So The Cycle Continues....Only Different....

Middle East 1991, Iraq puts it's collective desert boots on, starts up it's tanks and takes an extended holiday in it's smaller less powerful neighbour, Kuwait's back garden.

The great powers of western civilization flock to the poor oppressed Kuwaiti's aid, proving that in the modern age the civilized world will not tolerate naked aggression from nation states seeking to advance themselves through violence.

A couple of SAS chaps manage to make careers out of writing from fucking up a mission, lots of people die, everyone goes home, (except the dead ones).

Middle East 2006. Israel puts it's collective desert boots on, starts up it's tanks and takes an extended holiday in smaller less powerful neighbour, Lebanon's back garden.

The great powers of western civilization flock to the nearest sand dune to hide their heads in it and hope the problem goes away.

It would appear that Israel has successfully managed to add the USA and the UK to the Gaza Strip and the West Bank in lists of places where it gets to make the rules.

Note to Lebanon: When they pull out next time, but before they invade next time after that, don't waste time and money re-building your infrastructure. Put all your efforts into finding lots of oil, set up some heavy duty deals with the USA so that they become reliant on your supply and sit back and enjoy the sunshine. When your noisy neighbour next decides to jump over the fence and punch your face in because your kids threw stones at his greenhouse, watch for the dust of the now motorized 7th cavalry as it comes hastily over the hill to your rescue and gives the bad boy a bloody nose. (They will of course then stick around opening McDonald's restaurants and treading huge amounts of gum into your pavement, but it beats having to pay for your own army).

Note to Israel: Stop acting like the kid in playground who used to get beaten up, took a few self defence classes and now thinks it's ok to kick the shit out of anyone who looks at him sideways as a form of payback for past suffering. Wankers.

Note to the USA: You set yourself up as the world's policeman, get off your fat supersized arses, mount up in your gas guzzling humvees and fucking put a stop to this madness.

Note to the UK: Send in the SAS, those boys need something new to write about and the army pension is shit.

Note to Mainland Europe: Nobody cares what you think, keep out of it.

Note to everyone: The views expressed here do not necessarily represent those of a sane human being. Obviously.

No Really....

I am going to start posting daily. I promise. I told you I would, I promised, so I will.

On This Day In History..

The Enola Gay dropped it's payload, "Little Boy" (otherwise known as a nuclear bomb) on Hiroshima killing 60'000 human beings outright 61 years ago today.

It took the world slightly less time to recover from this, than it did to recover from the trauma left hanging over the heads of thousands of eighties teenagers, when they discovered electra pop style icons 'Orchestral Maneuvers In The Dark' were in fact singing about said nuclear nightmare in their catchy pop tune "Enola Gay", and not an Italian homosexual with an unhealthy obsession with his "Momma being proud of Little Boy today" as indicated in the lyrics.

Though the boys in the band did sport some lovely jumpers as I recall.